* In Loving Memory of Jeremy Haywood *

 

Merry Christmas 2022

My Sonshine

As The Years Pass...

Missing You 2022

Happy Birthday 2022

Merry Christmas 2021

Missing You 2021

Happy 40th! 2021

Merry Christmas 2020

Missing You 2020

Happy Birthday 2020

Merry Christmas 2019

Missing you 2019

Happy Birthday 2019

Merry Christmas 2018

Missing You 2018

Happy Birthday 2018

Merry Christmas 2017

Missing You 2017

Happy Birthday 2017

Merry Christmas 2016

Missing You 2016

Happy Birthday 2016

Merry Christmas 2015

Missing You 2015

Happy Birthday 2015

Merry Christmas 2014

Missing You 2014

Happy Birthday 2014

Merry Christmas 2013

Missing You 2013

Happy Birthday 2013

Merry Christmas 2012

Missing You 2012

Happy Birthday 2012

Merry Christmas 2011

Missing You 2011

Happy Birthday 2011

Merry Christmas 2010

Missing You 2010

Happy Birthday 2010

Merry Christmas 2009

Missing You 2009

Happy Birthday 2009

Merry Christmas 2008

Missing You 2008

Happy Birthday 2008

Jer's Poetry

Tributes to Jeremy

Your Comforting Words

Grief

Guestbook

Guestbook - Legacy.com

Jer's Gallery

BearNPoozers

Adult Jer

Teen Jer

Toddler Jer

Baby Jer

Home Videos

Slideshows

Big Bear

Toddler JerBear

Baby JerBear

Dedicated to my Sonshine

Jeremy's Memorial Card

Memorial Collage

Sonshine On My Shoulders

Gone Too Soon

One More Day

Who You'd Be Today

A Thousand Angels

My Immortal

I Still Miss You

Jeanne's Journals

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

Contact Me

Jers Papa

Obituary -Dad

MumsieGrams

Obituary - Mom

Nicholas Robertson-Gamble

Nick's Mom Says

Nick's Gallery

I chose the light.

7 years ago today, a huge part of my world came crashing down upon me.  My Sonshine’s life on Earth tragically ended at the age of 26.

Those who have never experienced such a devastating loss will (usually) not understand why it takes years (at the very least) to feel even  *close*  to “OK” again.  Not days, weeks or months…but years. 

I don’t recall if there was a precise moment that I said to myself, “get out of the darkness and come back into the light” but it must have been a conscious choice at some point.  One thing is for sure, it was several years before I even came close to that moment. 

My son was gone from the Earth but my daughter was still here.  She deserved to still have the Mom she knew and loved and not just a shell of a woman.  She grieved deeply for her brother and didn’t need another burden of having a mom living in the darkness.  I write this in the past tense but it pertains to today and all future days to come.

My grandsons deserve the same.   They deserve a Gaga with a loving and open heart, one who is fun to be with and full of joy, whenever possible.   This applies especially to my daughter’s boys who unfortunately just have one grandma; I’m it.  I have a lot of shoes to fill as their only grandparent.

I miss Jeremy.  A part of me is broken and will be forever.  I still have dark days but they are further and further apart as the years pass.  I don’t cry every time I talk about him now or when I look at his pictures… not *every* time.  

I don’t know if it’s true that I will see him again someday but I sure hope so.  I *do* know this; his light shines brightly wherever he is.   He is my Sonshine.  I love and miss him so very much.  To The Moon And Back And Back Again.

Recently being laid off has been a shock to my system and it has (temporarily) weakened me.  The darkness is ominous...

I must continue to choose the light.  Still.