My son Nicholas was struggling with a hideous disease. He wanted to conquer it; he was fighting to conquer it; he just ran out of time. But that disease does not define my son, it is not who he was.
My son was an amazing, incredible, wonderful person. He was my world – the light of my life. This world is a much darker place without him in it. He was sweet, and smart, and funny, and kind. He had a huge heart. He could be snide, and sarcastic, and politically incorrect, and he made me laugh every day of his life.
He was always making jokes. I remember when he was first getting the concept of April Fool’s day. He was 3 years old and we were in the car on the way to daycare and work. He said to me, “Mama, Mama!” and I said, “Yes Nick?” he said, “The raccoon is on the roof!” then burst out laughing and said, “April Fools!” He proceeded to tell that joke every day for the next 3 months.
He was always singing and making up songs. There was a dog named George who lived next door when Nick was in pre-school through his early elementary school years. Nick loved that dog. Some of his longest songs were about George. He continued to make up songs about everything for the rest of his life. I wish I had written them down – write down your kids’ songs.
He loved his family. He always said “I love you.” And always gave hugs whenever he saw us. When he was little I used to say “Good night my little pumpkin.” and he would say “Good night my Mama pumpkin.” Any time he would text me or call me he would say, “Love you!” at the end of the conversation. His last words to me were “I love you.”
He was my best friend. We would often go to an afternoon movie – No “chick flicks” for either of us – or dinner and talk and laugh – he had the most beautiful laugh. We had a Sunday morning tradition, I would get a latte for myself and an Iced Vente Soy Chai Latte for him, and Bacon Gouda Artisan breakfast sandwich for each of us. We’d eat them and watch some T.V. We always shared some of the egg with the dogs.
He loved all animals, even bugs. If there was a bug in the house, he would take it outside. The next time you see a bug in your house, don’t squish it, take it outside instead and think of Nick. He carried his little Po dog around the house like a baby and he loved his Eddie, his three-legged rescue from Taiwan, who would climb up on the couch and wrestle with him.
Nick was so beautiful to me in every way. His face, his hair, his eyes, his hands, his big shoulders, his hugs, his support, his I love yous, his voice and his laugh. I will miss him every day for the rest of my life. For those of you who fight his fight, when you need strength think of Nick, do not despair, he would want you to win this battle. If you win, he wins.