Hello my Sonshine - Another Christmas has come and gone. I miss you Your Sonshine is growing so fast and is so sweet and fun. I Hope you're watching from Heaven and I hope you're beaming with pride; you should be. I miss you. I heard your voice today. The very last phone call you ever made to me, I am thankful to have it saved. I miss you. When will I see you? Ever? I hope so. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. A thousand, zillion times, I miss you. So so much. :( I love you Jeremy, my Sonshine - to the Moon and Back and Back again.
Merry Christmas my Love, my Sonshine.
I miss you.
All my love,
...and so it goes my precious Sonshine, day by day by day... the sun rises, the sun sets and I pretend that I am a whole woman without a care in the world... when in reality I am shattered and broken and so so sad... but you see Jer, no one wants to know that, no one can deal with the shattered and sad Jeanne... and so I pretend and pretend and pretend. I miss you Jeremy, so much so that it often makes me physically ill to think about you. My beautiful babyboy.
I love you Sonshine... why did I have to bury my child? I miss you my Sonshine. To the Moon and Back and Back again
December 9, 2009
March 19, 2009
My Precious Sonshine
"Today I touched your face again and watched you for awhile, I talked of things deep in my heart and wished I could make you smile, I rubbed your head and told you, "I'm proud of you my *Sonshine*" For all the little things you did and the way you did each one, You show such courage daily and you teach me how to live, To make each moment count in life and to give what I can give, Did I tell you "You're my Hero" when I saw you yesterday? Or did it slip my mind as I put you away? I know your time on earth was short, but it's how you lived each day, You made the most of what you had and always found a way, You touched the hearts around you, to love them while you may, I wish with all my heart right now, the face I touched today, Wasn't made of paper or neatly placed away, But I will put you on the shelf again, for all the world to see, I'll talk to you tomorrow, just like I do each day, And I'll tell you "You're my Hero" as I gently walk away."
I love you and miss you so very very much Sonshine. To the Moon and Back and Back again.
Nicki is having a baby Jer! She refers to you as "Unkie Bear!" That is so cute :)
February 4, 2009
Hey Sonshine. :*
Can you believe this crap? Who knew eh? I am just spitting mad today!
Damn it I miss you.
15 mos gone by since you died and the world is just not right.
Your Son is beautiful. Remy smiles and laughs and is such a happy baby - just like you were at his age. His personality reminds me so much of you. I am so happy to have GrandSonshine and I gave Miss Sarah an extra hug the other day for that very reason.
I love you Jeremy. I miss you, to the Moon and Back and Back Again. Mahies.
January 25, 2009
Hello my precious Sonshine, Happy Sunday.
I've been sick for a couple of weeks now and I am always missing you terribly. I know you must know that.
"Some not yet forgotten, although we are apart, your spirit lives within me, forever in my heart."
I love you Sonshine. I miss you so so much. To the Moon and Back and Back Again.
Love, Your Mahies
January 4, 2009
It's been 14 months since you died.
My Precious Sonshine, I am in such a bad way. I have been severely dysfunctional for days now and just wish the world would go away. I laid in bed yesterday with my blackberry to my ear just listening to your last voice mail to me.. over and over and over. There are times I can't breathe and my pain just sucks all the life and soul out of me. I hold the pain in too much now and don't let the tears flow enough... I know this but how can I just cry whenever the pain washes over me? The only way would be to stay home and never leave the house. At work I can shut and lock my door, thank goodness. It's a sad state of affairs when the only place I feel comfortable going is to a funeral service... tears are appropriate and OK there. I went to a little girls birthday party in October and cried.. I felt like a fool and couldn't get away fast enough. I believe only one person noticed but it was embarassing none the less. I cried at TSO from the power of the music and my thoughts were only of you... it was dark so no one knew. How can I have any kind of normal life without you? Who are those people kidding when it is gently hinted that I am still alive... I know this, so what? I don't care. But I guess somewhere I do care or else I wouldn't be here without you. My Love for Nicki keeps me here. I'm reading more and more books written by parents who have buried a child.... they are the ones that understand... they are the ones whose pain and grief are forever.. they are the ones who I wish I could spend time with. For now, my time alone or when Nicki is with me, is all I can bear. I miss you Jeremy. To the Moon and Back and Back again. I love you very much.